Princesses: A Medieval Fantasy?

Well, my previous post, Gentlemen: A thing of the Past?, got so much good feedback that I have decided (with some prodding from various people) to write about princesses, and how to be one, from a guys perspective.

I’d just like to start of with a quick disclaimer, realize that I am, of course, not a princess, and thus can only give information from the perspective of a gentleman, please know that what is in here is mainly things I have observed over my (rather short) lifetime. I am in no way an expert, but I think the ladies sometimes wonder what guys think about this, so I’ll fill you in.

First, what is a princess? What makes a woman a princess? How does one stay a princess? These are questions that you would expect of a three year old in a pink tutu, but I think if more woman asked these questions the world would be a different place. (Note to men: You need to ask yourselves what a gentlemen is)

When you think of a princess, what do you think of? Probably petite Disney character with a voice that sounds like the tingle of bells, hair as soft as silk, and eyes that sparkle with the stars. I want you to do something for me, throw that image out, and forget about it. The first thing that you must understand concerning becoming a princess is that you already are one. You are beautiful just the way you are, you are unique, and your uniqueness is what makes you beautiful. Your soul is beautiful treasure from God, you are God’s creation, made in his image and likeness, and there is no one else like you. This is not to say that you should just be content with yourself if you can do better, but if you are doing your best, that is enough. When you see yourself in the mirror, don’t compare yourself to others, compare yourself to the “yourself” of the past, ask yourself, “Have I improved.” If the answer is yes, or even if the answer is “I’m trying my best to be better”, then you are doing your best to be a princess.

Second, keep your habits clean, especially your words. Women have a profound influence on men, they raise the standards to which men live, they make them better people, nicer people, and gentlemen. Set the bar high, not low, men are competitive, don’t easy on us, go hard, we don’t mind. If you set the bar high, we will soar to meet it, and any man that doesn’t, doesn’t deserve your company, he is not a gentlemen. A princess will not only raise the standards for herself, but also for those around her.

Third, guard your purity. There is a lot of disagreement on what is modest and what is not, and it is not my intent to find an answer in this post. I could make the argument that you must be modest because it can lead men to sin, but that is not the only reason, and it’s not the most important reason either.

Your purity is a gift from God, but it is not the type of gift you give to every person you see, it is a gift that you guard. If your parents gave you a million dollars, you wouldn’t go around wearing it like hat and letting random passers by take it, you would put it in a bank to save for your future. Your purity is, and always will be yours. It is not something you give away, but something you share, always with God, and perhaps with a gentlemen depending on what your vocation in life is. The value of that gift will depend on whether you have guarded it well or not. A princess has the gift of purity that shines like the stars, she guards it, keeps it safe, and offers it to God so that He can in turn, share it with whatever gentlemen she finds deserving enough to share the rest of her life with. If you are wearing your purity like a hat, to be buffeted and destroyed by the wind and rain, you’re doing it wrong. When you are modest, when you guard you purity and share it only with God and your husband, you not only are a princess, but you also help men to become gentlemen.

Fourth, allow yourself to be treated like a princess. If a gentleman opens a door for you, allow him to do so. If he wishes to lift that box for you, let him. If he tries to protect you, support him. You cannot be a princess, and at the same time refuse help from those who recognize that you are one. I know, it takes humility to ask for help, or to allow help to be granted when you don’t need it, gentlemen have a hard time with this as well if you haven’t noticed. But in order for you to be a princess, you must raise the bar for men to become gentlemen, and you cannot do that if you don’t allow them to do gentlemanly things.

So, what is a princess? A princess is a woman who recognizes that she was made in the image and likeness of God, honors God for the gifts He has given her, and raises the bar for the rest of society so that she, and the rest of the world, can draw closer to God. “Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)